Speaking as a woman, the word
“Power” as often times used and viewed is either to dominate or control, which
is not today’s message. The word “Power” in reference to a woman’s perspective in
this article means self-esteem, appreciation, and respect. And if a woman can
manage, maintain, and preserve all three of these things, that is her power. But
unfortunately, not many women possess this power or use it to their advantage.
Think you’re a woman of power? Let’s see.
Are you a woman who needs a
man in your life to feel complete? Are you a woman who literally cannot breath
without a man because the idea is almost like the apocalypse? Are you a woman
who contemplates baking up a voodoo cake for him in order to fully convert him over
to you? (True story I swear) Do you put everything including your friends and
family before him? Are you a woman who live and tolerate any and all the abuse
from him because of that old nails-on-a-chalk-board phrase “I love him” Think
about it. And if you are, then sweetie, your answer is no, you don’t possess
your own power.
The common denominator about
every question asked above is that they all lack self-esteem, appreciation, and
respect. This might stem from a woman’s own lack of emotional upbringings of
greater or minor experiences as a child and therefore she knows no better. On
the other hand, a woman could be compensating for drawbacks earlier in her life,
or maybe it was too many Disney movies that ill-advised her judgment, who
knows! With many or most cases, insecurity, however created, comes full circle
playing a big part of it. That’s why we do not know how to react to the wrong guy
we think is right for us. We keep acquiring foolishness while bringing our own
self down at the same time because now that a man is present, we don’t want to
lose him. Others weren’t lined up before him so maybe in time it’ll be okay,
right? Don’t get me wrong ladies, it’s okay to want a love of great magnitude
it really is, but my issue is when the want, and the fantasy start to cloud the
thinking and possibly start spreading delusions throughout the mind, preferably
yours.
Women who need men in their
lives to be loved or to feel loved don’t realize what a joke of thinking this
is. That type of validation doesn’t work. How did it get to where women have
allowed men to steal all their power? Why aren’t more women aware of their own
self-worth? Why is it men can do nothing in order to get what they really want,
which means a good bit more than buying the first drink? Why do we make it so
easy for them? They can put in no work, no time, and no effort to getting to
know us, to appreciate and prove to us they truly care, because at the threat
of a man leaving or not interested it automatically has us surrendering our “power”
in order to keep him. I have been there too.
I have one philosophy when it
comes to men that I live by. I encourage all women to use it. My philosophy is
there are two types of men. One type is the “men who only want sex” which is self explanatory. The other type of
men are the “sincere men who want sex” however, it is up to the
woman to define which type of category a man fits in. A woman cannot do this
until she knows who she is first. Both types share the common interest in
sex but it is just a matter of classifying the no-goods from the potentials. Example,
if you start to give up sex too quickly to a man this is all good for him. Not
only will he accept it but also he will start to think that because you gave
him sex too quickly that you must do that with every guy you meet, so now you
are just an easy accessible distraction to play with for awhile. However a
woman who holds out to the man type “who
only wants sex” suffers no consequences of any kind. She is not even affected,
because she hasn’t relinquished her most precious power, which is the last,
and/or ultimate possession a man can take from her. The man suffers before she
will because he gets aggravated or defeated.
But with “men who only want sex,” they can be persuaded or you can open them
to change TO A CERTAIN EXTENT MENTALLY THAT IS, believe it or not. Think about it. It’s all about seeing if we the
woman can get a man to actually like us more than the physical, and a woman is
just about there if a man becomes more attracted or more attentive to a woman
who holds out or has a demeanor that is not easy, but classy, and respectable. Maybe
a guy who is all about sex can meet a woman who is obviously not just another
number and could have him change his ways for her. Yes ladies, our power is
that powerful at times. But for the “sincere
men who want sex” they will treat you with more respect because despite
their common interest to the first type of men I told you about, the ones who only wants
the sex, “sincere men who want sex” don’t make it top priority first. They can wait awhile get to know
you. They will want to see what you’re like and about first, especially if they
see that you’re a very secure person about yourself rather appearing more or
less desperate to get a man. They present themselves more reverent and don’t
tend to have a forceful urge to get down your pants right away. Also, the
representation of how confident you are opposed to how desperate you are is key
and appealing to them.
But, “sincere men who wants sex” also can be converted into “men who only want sex” if you come off easy
and make it easy access for them. The man is a man at the end of the day. Remember,
until the next future Miss Right comes along you could be a distraction until
then. Keep in mind, men want to find a woman too they can build something with but
it’s doubtful they will turn down easy goers first in the duration of looking
for Miss Right. With women, it shouldn’t be about anything else except for how
far he is willing to earn your “power.” Power is what they really want; it is
what they are really after even in the best of intentions of first meeting. The
best thing to do is to know that right away and make them work for it and not
just give it to them, let them earn it. It’s easy to lay down with someone, it’s
hard trying to give your heart to the right guy, so let him work. And I don’t
mean not with him always paying a tab but with him actually and sincerely
wanting to get to know you, genuinely taking an interest in things you like to
do. If you’re looking for a real man to be with, it’s takes four things; time,
smart choices, reading between the lines, and just plain common sense.
I understand we fear being
alone, and tend to settle with what we get, because it might not come along
rapidly the next go-round, but as women let’s start valuing ourselves more before
a man comes along and bring us down lower than we were before. If you are
insecure and don’t love yourself enough, don’t expect Prince Charming to. Find
out who you are first before you let any man come in and define you. Find out what
you don’t want and do want in a man before one comes along and gives you whatever
you want rather you like it or not. If you don’t like something a guy is offering
you can easily not tolerate it and keep it moving than to just accept it. Create
a sense to know that you are your own woman and you do not need to give any man
satisfaction to fulfill you, or keep you happy, because you can create that all
on your own. If you are a strong secure woman men will notice that and feel
compelled to want to know you and be about you because you are creating an
image of yourself that in turn will not
make you give up yourself in return of his interest. And if you don’t have a
man, live with the fact that that is perfectly okay and that it not the end of
the world. They will come in time. Remember to know yourself, love yourself, and
appreciate yourself first though. Your power is in you, use it well.
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